The memory I have of experiencing bias was shopping for
wedding rings with my soon-to-be husband. My husband works in the service
industry and at the time worked in the field. I was working in the ECE field.
He had a customer that was a jeweler and his store was located in a very high
end shopping mall. My husband asked me
to meet him one afternoon to look at the selection. We both went to the mall
directly from work with little concern for what others would infer from how we
were dressed.
My husband’s customer was cordial and happy to see us at his store. Unfortunately,
his designs were not my taste. We decided to take the opportunity to look in
other jewelry stores for wedding rings while we were there. Because of our
attire, we were prejudged by most of the retail staff in the stores where we
shopped. In several stores we were not greeted or asked if we needed help.
The assumption that we could not afford what they had for
sale and therefore, were not worth waiting on, was made very apparent. I found
that very interesting, as I am sure most of the employees in those stores did
not have incomes higher than ours. Yet they treated us as less than, because of
their assumption that their efforts would not result in a sale. We were
unworthy of shopping in their establishment was the message we received, so we took our business elsewhere.
Feelings of being less than or inferior due to economic
status were brought to the surface for me. I was raised in a middle class neighborhood,
but within the town I lived on the “poor” side of town. I had no awareness of this as a young child, but it became clear as I went onto middle and high
school. The further I went in my schooling, the more neighborhoods were combined, and for some students, lines were clearly drawn according to economic status.
If I had been more self- assured at the time I would have
requested service. That would have provided the opportunity to educate the
sales staff that to make biased judgments due to someone’s dress is a
mistake. An overt statement would not
have been necessary, just by the ability to pay for what I wanted would have
sent a clear message.
Classism is based on the assumption that in order for one
person to have enough someone else must have less, and the person with more is
superior. We live in a very competitive society and believe someone needs to
fail in order for other to succeed (Laureate Education Inc., n.d.). A lesson I have
learned throughout my lifetime is to never assume someone’s economic status
from the way they dress. Or in my case, the ability to pay for a special purchase after a year of saving!
A friend of my husband, who is also a plumber, shared a
story of giving a customer a bill for his services. The customer replied “With
prices like these you could vacation in the Bahamas!” To which he replied, “Am
I not allowed to vacation in the Bahamas?” This remark was a clear example of
classism. His microaggression was stating- In my eyes your job does not have
the same status as mine, therefore not worth as much money and I should not
meet you at my vacation spot because we are not equals.
Laureate Education Inc. (Producer). (n.d.) Microaggressions in everyday life [Video Webcast]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/webapps/portal/frameset.jsp?tab_tab_group_id=_2_1&url=%2Fwebapps%2Fblackboard%2Fexecute%2Flauncher%3Ftype%3DCourse%26id%3D_550963_1%26url%3D
Wow,
ReplyDeleteMichele,
I never looked at classism this way. Where I live, Fairfield County, CT, many women here have large diamonds on their fingers. I, however, wear something less than a carat, but it is just as beautiful in my mind. I was even lucky enough to be recommended a "High-end" jeweler to have a matching wedding band made for the engagement ring. I would definitely not consider myself as part of the wealthy just because of where I live. I love every minute of my job working with children and don't want that to be taken away just because of expectations associated with classism.
I can relate to your clothing comments as I am a frequent of Kohl's as opposed to Designer name clothing. I probably don't live up to most people's expectations when they learn the area in which I live.
Thanks for your insights on classism.
I have been in that position before. The feeling of being judged by the way you are dressd annoys me to no end! I have a friend who quite wealthy and his father wished to buy a yatch(spelling??), so he went to a local shop and was looking around ( he was dressed in clothes that were ragged and had stains on them), he was approached after about 15 mins. of looking and finally asked if he needed some help. He replied by telling the person what he was looking for and the person respopnded by saying that sounds like a lot are you sure yoiu can afford this? At that point my friend's father walked out of the shop. He proceeded to another shop dressed the same way and recieved help with no problem. He paid for his new "toy" in cash. A few weeks later he went back to the other shop dressed in his work suit with a picture of him and his new "toy", just to show them that you shoudl not judge a book by its cover!!!!
ReplyDeleteMichele,
ReplyDeleteYour experience with classism is all too common and familiar. I appreciate your pointing out that it is not only the well-to-do who practice classism--that snobbery is modeled by store clerks and waitstaff who make a working wage. I think that is an intriguing point that deserves more pondering. Thanks for sharing this experience!
Michele,
ReplyDeleteReading about your experience, I can't help but think of the movie Pretty Woman. It is so sad to see that this happens in real life and not just in the movies. Why does it matter what clothes we wear while shopping, if one wants to buy something "high-end" then they should be allowed that freedom peacefully.
Michele
ReplyDeleteit is amazing how people judge a person from their appearance without giving them a chance to be themselves. If you were there to buy something you would think they would not judge you by your clothing but try to show you what you wanted for the sale especially if they worked on commission. It reminds me the movie Pretty Woman.
It is amazing how people judge others by looks. I love that you took your business somewhere else. I often think that the reason why we do not learn is that people are often too nice to respond to microaggressions. I have had to ask people to stop asking me if I needed help because I knew the question implied what I was doing in the store. Thank you for sharing this experience.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post this week. I definitely agree that people judge others on looks a great majority of the time. I had once been given a fake Rolex from a friend and was wearing it in a real Rolex store one time and was abruptly approached by the manager of the store. At first I thought he was accusing me of doing something wrong but he had spotted the watch and immediately began showing me his finest collection. There was no way I could ever afford any of those watches but because I had my fake watch on (that probably cost my friend $10) I was treated like royalty. It was just another example of how superficial judgments can be very wrong.
ReplyDelete