Relationship Reflection

The most important relationships in the world to me are those I have with my husband and children.

I have known my husband since I was 16 years old. We dated until I started college and our lives took us on different paths for a few years. We found each other again after my graduation, both a few years older with clearer pictures of what we wanted in life. My husband is my greatest supporter.  We have a true partnership when it comes to raising our three children; we respect each other opinions, work to help each child reach their goals. Although conflicts may arise about the best way to do this, the love we have for each other is never threatened.

High School Sweethearts

Married for life!

The relationships with each of my children are as unique as they are. As a family we enjoy each other’s company, celebrate each other’s accomplishments, console each other during times of need and generally just laugh a lot.

Family vacation in Florida

There are two other groups of people that I have very supportive relationships with. The first is a group of women from my church. We brought a ministry called Women’s Cornerstone to our church. Through this ministry we have come to know each other very well and have formed relationships where there is no judgment, just support and the sharing of our Faith. We can share anything with each other, feel safe about doing it and know that if we are in need, help will always be provided. I would consider these relationships a partnership also because we had the shared vision of bringing this ministry, which holds retreats for women, to our church. We supported each other and recognized each other’s gift. We knew that each of us had something to contribute and if we worked together we would accomplish our goal. The ministry will hold its 6^th retreat this year adding more women to our ministry.

The end of our first retreat!

The second group is the Morristown Adoption Support Group. I found myself a member of this group 7 years ago when it was finally revealed to me at the age of 41 that I was adopted. At my first meeting I met several other late discovery adoptees and felt that I was not alone in my anger, hurt and confusion. Being able to share my story and listen to the stories of other touched by adoption was a great source of healing for me. Our meetings are attended by adult adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. From this group I have partnered with several members as we advocate to get the archaic adoption legislation in New Jersey changed. Last year we got a Bill passed in  the  Assembly  and the Senate that would allow adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates only to have the Governor conditionally veto it and let it die. We will begin our advocacy again soon!

New Jersey State Assembly Hearing

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

Over the years I have learned that most relationships fail when trust is broken or the give and take in the relationship is out of balance. When others view your actions through the filter of their world view they can project their own insecurities into a relationship, often causing you to have to constantly defend everything you say or do.  Or you may see others the way you wish to see them and not allow them to be themselves. This is often the demise of many relationships in my opinion.  

In the field of early childhood, developing the ability to form strong relationships and partnerships affects everything we do. For those of us working with infants through 5 year olds, we have to affectively build a teaching team within the classroom.  There are often two to three adults in the classroom and they must be able to communicate and work in harmony to provide the best classroom environment for the children. Each team has to build a relationship with all the other teams and the directors so that shared spaces are cared for and the center is unified in its mission to provide quality child care. Finally creating relationships/ partnerships with the parents of the children in your class also impacts the work that we do. Strong parent partnerships contribute to positive educational outcomes for every child.