My Supports

"Success becomes sustainable when there are environments and failsafe structures which support it and which make you feel fully alive. And being fully alive calls you to play a much bigger game in life...evolving to your optimal potential to levels of greatness you never thought were possible."

Dave Buck

When I think of the support systems in my daily life the first thing that comes to mind is all the people I have that surround me and make my life richer in so many ways. On the top of that list is my husband. We have been blessed to have a loving relationship for 23 years. He supported my desire to leave teaching while our children were young, taking total financial responsibility for our growing family. When I returned to working he naturally took on more responsibilities at home. Now that I have started graduate school he has taken over more of the household duties so that I can have time for my studies. Our children are older now and more self sufficient, doing many things for themselves and sharing in the work. Everyone cooks and cleans to keep the household running.

My husband has supported me through emotionally trying times as well, losing my parents, my brother and the revelation that I was adopted. He encouraged me to find additional support during those trying times. My support system includes the women’s ministry I belong to at church and an adoption support group. In both of these groups I have people who I can share with and be inspired by.

When at work I am fortunate to have a co-teacher in my class that compliments my teaching style. We just began working together this year and immediately clicked. The duties of the class are all covered by each other likes and dislikes; we found a very natural rhythm together and as a team can meet our student’s needs.

On a daily basis I would be lost without lists. List of errands to do before or after work, items to buy at the store, tasks to complete while at naptime at work are part of my daily routine. I will staple notes around the handle of my tote bag so I won’t forget to run an errand on the way home from work!

It is difficult to think of myself with a specific challenge, because to be honest, I don’t like putting those thoughts out into the world. But here is what I know; I am blessed to live in my little town in NJ. We have come together as a town to support people in many ways. When someone in our community has lost a spouse or a child we have done whatever necessary to support them. We have raise funds, repaired homes, planted trees in their honor and made sure Santa could deliver presents. When several women in our town were diagnosed with breast cancer and a child with leukemia during a very short period of time we organized meal deliveries, shopping for the household and made sure chores were taken care of.  Several groups formed to raise funds for research. A family with two disabled children needed funds to buy a vehicle that could transport them, a local charity picked them to receive funds. The funds are raised through a basketball game, that night the master of ceremonies said he had never seen anything like the amount of tickets sold in honor of one family. No matter what challenge I may be faced with, and I pray it is none, I know that my faith, my family and my community will try to meet my emotional, physical and practical needs.

My Connections to Play

Quotes about Play 

“The playing adult steps sideward into another reality; the playing child advances forward to new stages of mastery.” ~ Erik H. Erikson (American psychoanalyst)

“Play is the highest form of research.” ~ Albert Einstein (scientist)

“It’s not so much what children learn through play, but what they won’t learn if we don’t give them the chance to play. Many functional skills like literacy and arithmetic can be learned either through play or through instruction – the issue is the amount of stress on the child. However, many coping skills like compassion, self-regulation, self-confidence, the habit of active engagement, and the motivation to learn and be literate cannot be instructed. They can only be learned through self-directed experience (i.e. play).” ~ Susan J. Oliver (author, Playing for Keeps)

Items I Used Often In My Play

From the about the age of 7 I lived on my roller skates, zooming up and down my street.  I  roller skated regularly  right through collage.  

I remember the Christmas I received this as a gift. My girlfriend and I would spend hours playing with our dolls and this house. I look back now and realize more time was spent setting up Barbie's world  than actually playing with the dolls.


How My Play Was Supported

When I was a young child I am not sure that the adults in my life knew that they were supporting my play but from about the age of four or five I was allowed outside to play on my own or with other children in the neighborhood. My mom would allow me to make mud pies in the yard and play in the the puddles after a storm. Some of my friends had playrooms in their houses where we would be able to play inside but for the most part three seasons of the year we were outside. Playing at the local park, school yard, each others yards or just throughout the neighborhood. We were left to our own devices to entertain ourselves. We were expected home for lunch and dinner and to stay within the few block radius our parents felt was appropriate. As I got older my bike and public transportation allowed that distance to grow.


How I See Play Today 


Parents today would be considered irresponsible if they allowed their 5 year old to be playing outside alone. We have a hyper-vigilant society created by immediate access news to from across the country and around the world that makes our world seem less safe than it was when I was growing up. Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts With Worry) discusses how crime rates are actually lower today than in the past in most cities. That child predators seem more prevalent because abuse and assault is reported and prosecuted more than in the past when it was often ignored  or swept under the rug. 
I also feel parents today are pressured in many ways to produce super-achieving children (Ginsberg, 2007). They have to have the correct toys, enrichment activities and be learning skills beyond what is developmental appropriate because that is what is shown in the media as providing your child with every advantage for the future. 
 I believe this has lead to children having less unstructured play time. Play is almost always supervised by an adult and divided by age groups.  I believe this is affecting children's ability to learn self regulation, negotiation skills and how to communicate their needs to their peers. My hope is that those of us the work in the early childhood field will educate parents about the importance of play. In addition my hope is that schools and child care centers can figure out a way to incorporate curriculum standards that allows children to learn through play because research has proven it is the way they learn best! 


The Role Of Play Throughout My Lifetime


Dramatic play, pretending to be someone or someplace else is something I strongly remember from my childhood. I can remember playing teacher for hours with my stuffed animals as students. We had a row of tall bushes in my backyard that easily became a forest for my friends and I. I also enjoyed physical play, running, jumping, skating and bike riding consumed hours of my time as a child. I continued to roller skate through college.

Board games were also a way my childhood family passed the time something I have passed on to my children. It was a way to learn about rules fairness and how to lose with grace.


 As I entered high school my creative side was expressed through music. I played several instruments, sang and was in the school plays. As an adult I sing in my church choir.


 I still love to be outside, my husband and I enjoy camping and for many years we camped as a family until our children's favorite ways to play created too many conflicts. 


I think it is important for everyone to have at least one activity that is their form of play to enjoy throughout their lifetime. 

References

Ginsberg, K. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182–191. Retrieved from http://www.aap.org/pressroom/playfinal.pdf

Relationship Reflection

The most important relationships in the world to me are those I have with my husband and children.

I have known my husband since I was 16 years old. We dated until I started college and our lives took us on different paths for a few years. We found each other again after my graduation, both a few years older with clearer pictures of what we wanted in life. My husband is my greatest supporter.  We have a true partnership when it comes to raising our three children; we respect each other opinions, work to help each child reach their goals. Although conflicts may arise about the best way to do this, the love we have for each other is never threatened.

High School Sweethearts

Married for life!

The relationships with each of my children are as unique as they are. As a family we enjoy each other’s company, celebrate each other’s accomplishments, console each other during times of need and generally just laugh a lot.

Family vacation in Florida

There are two other groups of people that I have very supportive relationships with. The first is a group of women from my church. We brought a ministry called Women’s Cornerstone to our church. Through this ministry we have come to know each other very well and have formed relationships where there is no judgment, just support and the sharing of our Faith. We can share anything with each other, feel safe about doing it and know that if we are in need, help will always be provided. I would consider these relationships a partnership also because we had the shared vision of bringing this ministry, which holds retreats for women, to our church. We supported each other and recognized each other’s gift. We knew that each of us had something to contribute and if we worked together we would accomplish our goal. The ministry will hold its 6^th retreat this year adding more women to our ministry.

The end of our first retreat!

The second group is the Morristown Adoption Support Group. I found myself a member of this group 7 years ago when it was finally revealed to me at the age of 41 that I was adopted. At my first meeting I met several other late discovery adoptees and felt that I was not alone in my anger, hurt and confusion. Being able to share my story and listen to the stories of other touched by adoption was a great source of healing for me. Our meetings are attended by adult adoptees, adoptive parents and birth parents. From this group I have partnered with several members as we advocate to get the archaic adoption legislation in New Jersey changed. Last year we got a Bill passed in  the  Assembly  and the Senate that would allow adult adoptees access to their original birth certificates only to have the Governor conditionally veto it and let it die. We will begin our advocacy again soon!

New Jersey State Assembly Hearing

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

Over the years I have learned that most relationships fail when trust is broken or the give and take in the relationship is out of balance. When others view your actions through the filter of their world view they can project their own insecurities into a relationship, often causing you to have to constantly defend everything you say or do.  Or you may see others the way you wish to see them and not allow them to be themselves. This is often the demise of many relationships in my opinion.  

In the field of early childhood, developing the ability to form strong relationships and partnerships affects everything we do. For those of us working with infants through 5 year olds, we have to affectively build a teaching team within the classroom.  There are often two to three adults in the classroom and they must be able to communicate and work in harmony to provide the best classroom environment for the children. Each team has to build a relationship with all the other teams and the directors so that shared spaces are cared for and the center is unified in its mission to provide quality child care. Finally creating relationships/ partnerships with the parents of the children in your class also impacts the work that we do. Strong parent partnerships contribute to positive educational outcomes for every child.

When I Think of Child Development

These pictures represent much of what I believe about child development. An adult has provided a safe and stimulating environment and is now letting these children do what they do best. Discover and problem solve together! Blocks is probably my favorite learning center because all areas of development can clearly  be observed. Fine and gross motor skills are challenged and refined with a variety of block types and sizes. Cognitive development of math and science skills such as fractions,patterning, balance and speed are learned. Learning to work together, dealing with frustration as you try to figure out how to get that tower to stand or negotiating with a friend for that last bridge shape block you need to complete your structure shows social/emotional development as well as growth in  language skills. The art of being an early childhood educator is knowing when to scaffold a child's learning and when to just observe with wonder as they learn new skills before our eyes.

Assessment Methods

 Assessment can provide valuable information for educators about a particular child’s skill level. There is a need for some formal standardized assessment but it must be supplemented with teacher observations of the child working within the class setting. Standardized testing gives you just a snapshot of a child’s performance in a setting that is highly stressful for some students. There are many variables in a student’s life that can affect the results of a test given on a particular day.

 In the field of early childhood education, often an overview of a new topic may be given in a large group setting and then reinforced in much smaller groups. Just having the children move to smaller groups of 3-4 children allows for assessment of what was learned during whole group instruction. Reinforcement can take place immediately, as well as, one-on-one instruction if needed.

Also, written observations in each developmental area must be maintained monthly so that anecdotal records of a child’s skills are available. I believe samples of the work from each area should be saved also. The maintaining of these types of records provides teachers with an overview of a child’s development throughout the year and can be an indicator of the need for formal testing when expected developmental milestones are not reached.

A study was published in 2001 entitled Trusting Teacher’s Judgments: A validity study of a curriculum-embedded performance assessment in kindergarten to grade 3. In the study the Work Sampling System, a teacher based assessment with sample collection, was compared to the results of the same student’s scores on the Woodcock-Johnson Psychoeducational Battery-Revised, a standardized test. The results found that the teacher’s judgment was valid and their assessment of children’s learning or special needs were in direct correlation to the results indicated by the standardized test. The teacher’s assessments were conducted as part of the routine instruction with no additional stress to their students.

The International Math and Science Study has been conducted 1995, 1997, 2003 and 2007. It provides information on math and science achievement of United States 4^th and 8^th graders to that of other countries. One of the countries that always scores higher than the US is Japan so I thought I would look at how they assess their students. I was surprised to learn that in Japan they feel a student’s motivation to learn is the most important thing. Teachers use whole class instruction with everyone working at the same pace. Mathematics is presented in terms of concepts rather than calculations, withholding the correct answer, but having the class work as a whole to  come up with as many solutions as possible. It is important to the Japanese that those who do understand help classmates that do not when doing seatwork. In the US we might see that has holding back the advanced students, but in Japan, they see it as a way for those students to cooperate with people of diverse abilities. Learning to interact with others is seen as a form of studying because it is so important in that culture. Tracking and drilling of math skills and facts is not dome until later in junior high when preparing students for high school entrance exams.

Japanese students actually spend more hours studying music, arts & handicrafts, homemaking, physical education, moral education and doing special activities than on math and science. Students participate in activities such as picking flowers and raising rabbits. We may have much to learn from Japan as our system of more time on drilling and testing does not seem to be improving our students understanding of mathematical concepts.

 I am not comfortable with the current focus on standardized test scores in the United States. It has been proven that well trained teachers can evaluate their students learning achievement and needs accurately and effectively without the unnecessary stress and expense of routine standardized tests. We also have something to learn from effective teaching methods of other countries, that rote drilling and teacher lecture are not the most effective ways to instruct school age children.

References

National Center for Educational Statistics. Trends in international mathematics and science study (TIMSS). Retrieved from http://nces.ed.gov/timss/

 Samuel J Meisels, Donna DiPrima Bickel, Julie Nicholson, Yange Xue, & Sally Atkins-Burnett. (2001). Trusting teachers' judgments: A validity study of a curriculum-embedded performance assessment in kindergarten to grade 3. American Educational Research Journal, 38(1), 73.  Retrieved October 15, 2011, from ProQuest Central. (Document ID: 113701421).

Wu, Angela. (1999, January). The Japanese education system: a case study summary and analysis. Research Today. Retrieved from http://www2.ed.gov/pubs/ResearchToday/98-3038.html

Consequences of Stress on Child Development - Corporal Punishment

With my husband’s permission I am sharing part of the story of his childhood.  He was raised by authoritarian parents, where insulting language and physical punishment was the norm. Children opinions were not considered. He and his siblings were often called stupid. Being beaten with hands, as well as, wooden spoons or belts was common. As the boys got older the violence could escalate to actual fist fights with their dad. My husband and his brothers became known as the terrors of the neighborhood often bulling others and getting into fights in school.

Becoming a bully I believe, was actually a coping mechanism for them. My husband was not allowed to express his anger at home or try to defend himself with words so he took it out on others that were defenseless against him. He is not proud of this and has shared his story with our children. Other ways my husband coped was to be very careful not to break the rules and to spend as much time out of the house as possible.

When it came to raising our children, my husband knew he did not want to repeat what his parents had done to him so he said I was in charge of all parenting decisions. Working together I explained my reasons for using more authoritative approach. Teaching him what our children were actually capable of understanding as developmentally. We did not use any type of physical punishment, just lots of redirection and a system of natural and logical consequences.   

My husband has had to do much work to learn to control his anger. He sought counseling and became very involved in his faith and our church.  Inanimate objects are still in danger of being thrown if he is having a particularly tough day.  Most of our friends and his colleges would be shocked to find out that he struggles with self-esteem issues on occasion. Because my husband was strong enough to recognize his emotional challenges and was willing to work on the issues they created, he is a fabulous father with children who turn to him and are willing to discuss anything with him. He has healed some of his relationship with his father; our son was a conduit for that. His father is a completely different man with our son, who spends a part of his summer visiting his grandfather several states away each year.

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A 2008 article published in the Bulletin of the World Health Organization, showed the results of a study conducted in Brazil on the effects of severe physical punishment. The study states that many stressors can affect a child’s mental health and severe physical punishment is one of them. The other main factor was maternal anxiety and depression. The behaviors children in this study exhibited showing external signs of mental health issues were aggression, as well as, vandalism and robbery. Internalized signs were symptoms of depression. The researchers see these as modifiable risk factors and believe intervention and parent education could help parents modify their behavior and adopt healthier parenting techniques.

In doing this research I also found an organization called the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. There are quotes from children who have participated in research studies around the world. The quotes from some Brazilian children included: from 10-12 year olds “Hitting is useless, it should be talking” & “I think it is very ugly to be beaten” A 13 year old girl said “My father hits for nothing, he hits to see his child cry” and a 14 year old boy “My mother hits me, but not to hurt me, just so that I’ll be a real man when I grow-up”. I found these and other quotes very telling of how children see corporal punishment.

In June 2007, a campaign was launched in Brazil to prohibit corporal punishment by Educate do not Punish, which is a network of institutions that works as a social movement trying to stop all types of corporal punishment.  The have a website where scholarly papers and articles on the effects of corporal punishment can be found. In addition there are manuals for parents. This group establishes trainings for parents and educators.  In 2010,  a Bill was sent by Brazilian President Lula to congress to establish the rights of children to be educated and cared for without the use of corporal punishment.

References

Azevedo, M. A. & Azevedo Guerra, V. N., (2001) Hitting Mania: Domestic corporal punishment of children and adolescents in Brazil, Sao Paulo: IGLU Editoria. Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children. Retrieved from http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/pages/frame.html

Bordin, I. A., Duarte, C. S., Peres, C. A., Nascimento, R., Curto, B. M., & Paula, C.S. (2008, August). Severe physical punishment: risk of mental health problems for poor urban children in Brazil. Bulletin of the World Health Organization. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/87/5/07-043125/en/

Educate do not Punish. Retrieved from http://www.naobataeduque.org.br/site/reforma_legal/brasil.php

Child Development and Public Health- Immunizations

 Immunization is a topic that often comes up for discussion at my place of work, a childcare center serving infants 6 weeks through Kindergarten.  In the state of New Jersey there are many required vaccinations for children before they enter a childcare setting or public school. The state of New Jersey in 2008 became the first state to require flu shots for any child enrolled in daycare or preschool starting at the age of 6 months through 5 years of age. Every child each year must receive their flu shot by December 31 or risk not being able to attend.

We have several parents each year that refuse to have their child immunized at all because they fear the safety of the shots. In New Jersey you are allowed to claim religious exemption for immunizations. What need to be supplied as proof may vary greatly from center to center, some accepting a note from the parents others requesting official letterhead and signature from your place of worship.

The linking of immunizations and the rise in children with autism has impacted many parents’ opinions of their safety. New Jersey has the highest autism rate in the country. A 2007 report by the CDC stated that our reporting rates may just be more accurate, therefore higher, because the state has such an aggressive program to find these children early and provide early intervention services. I have a nephew with autism and have seen the success of early intervention.

On a personal note, my oldest daughter had a severe reaction to DTaP immunization as an infant. She ran a fever of 105 degrees and I have never heard a cry, like the one coming from her, before or since that very scary night. She continued to receive the rest of her immunizations, as did my other children, adjusting her DTaP shot to avoid a reaction. I believe the risk of disease and their complications outweighs the risk of the immunizations. I believe many parents now think these diseases have been wiped out and there is no longer a need for immunizations. They only need to look at countries such as Somalia where routine immunization is not the norm to see the tragic results of not having access to something we in the United States take for granted.

The World Health Organization reported that, as of July, there were 1019 suspected cases of measles and 31 related deaths so far for 2011 in Somalia. The children there are highly susceptible to complications from measles due to poor nutrition and lack of clean drinking water. Most of the children who die or suffer the most severe complications are 5 years of age and under. There is an ongoing effort to bring the vaccine to this region and immunize more children. The stability of the region greatly affects access.

References

Injury Board National News Desk. (2009, January 5). Flu vaccine mandatory for New Jersey children. Retrieved from http://news.injuryboard.com/flu-vaccine-mandatory-for-new-jersey-children.aspx?googleid=254536

University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, (2007, February 8). CDC releases study of autism rates nationwide, including New Jersey. Retrieved fromhttp://www.umdnj.edu/about/news_events/releases/07/r020807_CDCReleases_StudyofAutismRates.htm

World Health Organization. (2011, August 19). Suspected measles cases rising steeply in south central Somalia. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/hac/crises/som/en/index.html